Surprise!

Hey all! I would say “so much for my resolution to write more,” but truthfully I’ve been doing a lot of writing – and work in general – as of late…just not here in this blog. I have started working full time again, and while it’s not clear whether or not that’s going to be a long-term thing, it has still taken over my life.

I started working full-time at the end of October. I had planned to cover maternity leave for a friend of mine for whom I have been doing writing projects for the last several years. I was supposed to get three weeks worth of training and then she had a C-Section planned and I would cover her job for the next three months. Well, more than one unexpected thing happened, from the second day I started working in the office.

The first thing was that on my second day on the job, after half a day of “training” (mostly involving getting a tour of the building and discussing our children), my friend went off and had her baby. When I came into the office that morning, I thought someone was playing a joke on me. You know, tweak the new girl and give her a mini-heart attack. But no, it was real, and I plunged headlong into a job whose parameters I knew next to nothing about.

After a week or so of pure panic, I learned how to politely tell people I had no idea who they were or what projects they were asking me about. I discovered that I actually had the skills to cover most of my new job duties and those that I was confused about, I could ask other people about and either they could explain those duties to me or they could direct me to someone else who could help me out. I learned that I really was pretty good at managing a team, as my team members told me numerous times how much they enjoyed working with me. And I discovered that intelligence, hard work, a good attitude, and a constant smile can really get you far when the next unexpected thing happened to me: I got offered a job beyond my three-month contract.

OK, I say that was unexpected but I really should qualify that statement: I didn’t expect it. I had been told by my husband, several friends, and my babysitter that there was a good chance that would happen, but I didn’t believe it. Guess I should have more faith in myself!

When I was asked if I would stay on, I discovered another surprising fact: I was actually excited by the prospect of continuing to work there. That may sound funny, but the truth of the matter is that I had been pretty burned by some of my recent past experiences and that was a good deal of what led me to want to start my own marketing business. I was tired of working under management that had no clue how to manage, working with people who didn’t understand the point of marketing, trying to explain why a writer position is necessary (nearly everyone who puts together an email thinks they can write), and having to deal with unsupportive management.

This company has none of those issues. I love the people I work with and for. They’re all smart, dedicated people who truly work to make the company successful. People value my opinion and advice and even if they don’t always follow it, they at least give it serious consideration. My manager is fabulous, and that’s something I had almost given up on ever being able to say. Many managers in the technology world are intelligent, but there are very few who have true management skills. My current manager can very capably manage his team, as well as handle office politics on all levels. Plus, he’s just a pleasure to work with – honest, friendly, good-hearted, encouraging, and supportive. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

I am now working at this job for another three months. I don’t know if my contract will get extended after that or if I will be offered a full-time job, but if it all works out, I may be spending a lot more time there than I had initially imagined.

I have to admit that I have some internal conflicts about not being able to spend as much time as I used to with the kids. At the same time, having been at the full-time work thing for the past three months has shown me that I really can create a good balance between work and home life. It helps that I have such a wonderfully supportive husband with a fairly flexible job. It also helps that my manager is fine with me working from home some days. So although I’ll have to continue to evaluate how both my family and I feel about the situation, I think we’re following a good path.

In my new job, I get to do a lot of writing but I also get to do a lot of interpersonal relationship building and project management. I really like that. It expands the parameters of some of my past positions, giving me a path for movement in my job that I didn’t have when I was merely “the writer.” I have skills in many areas of marketing, as well as a decent way of handling interpersonal relationships, and I enjoy having the chance to expand those talents. It’s amazing to me that this wonderful career opportunity practically fell into my lap.

My advice for this post: Be open to change. Don’t be afraid to try something new. Have confidence in yourself. You’ll know pretty quickly whether or not a decision works for you. You never know – you may find yourself somewhere you never imagined, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.

As I said when I started this blog, thank you insane little mystery that watches over my life. You continue to fill my life with blessings and surprises. The current curve in the path of my life was totally unexpected, but I’m very happy about it. Yeah, life is good.

Independence day

Sometimes it is exhausting feeding Zivah, especially since she won’t take a bottle. In the past, I had heard of some children who were like that and I secretly thought to myself, “What’s the big deal? It’s not hard to get a kid to take a bottle.” Then I had Zivah, who literally makes herself gag (and occasionally throw up) if someone tries to give her a bottle.

We’ve tried having numerous different people give her a bottle. We’ve tried nipples of varying sizes, textures, and materials. We’ve tried bottles from every manufacturer you can think of. We’ve even tried water and juice as well as breast milk and formula – and cold liquids as well as warm ones. No go. It’s Mommy or bust! (Or should that be “Mommy’s bust”?)

It’s odd to think of how dependent Zivah is on me at this stage of the game. My life is broken up into increments of time between feedings. Nursing is nice in that it gets you to slow down, rest, and bond with your baby every few hours. On the other hand, I wouldn’t complain if I could go out for lunch with a friend and not worry that Zivah has started screaming for milk before I return.

This ultra-dependent stage won’t last long, though. Zivah has already started on solids and I’m sure that within a few months she’ll be able to drink from a sippy cup, even if she still refuses to take a bottle. This makes me both happy and sad.

Zivah eating peas

I know it’s kind of a cliché thing to say, but children really do grow up so quickly. Look at Maggie, who is not even two, but is already learning to do so many things by herself. She can put on her own clothes with minimum assistance (though I do sometimes have to remind her not to put her legs though her shirt’s neck hole). She can put together puzzles of varying difficulty. She colors, draws, glues, and does other crafty things. Obviously she’s not completely independent, but she’s well on her way.

That said, I still make rules for her. She is not allowed to jump on the couch. She has to wear a jacket when we go outside. She may not grab toys away from Zivah or Bryce. Also, while I give her many opportunities to make her own choices (like she can choose her clothes from several options I provide for her), I still make it clear that I am making the decision when it comes to something like whether or not she is wearing a jacket when it’s cold outside or when it is OK to watch TV.

Maggie hangs out under the baker's rack - she likes to do things her own way

Then there’s Bryce. At the age of eight and a half, Bryce is growing up so quickly! He’s definitely not an adult, but he is becoming more mature every day.

A few weekends ago, Bryce took a bus to the Cape alone. Granted, Josh went to the bus station with him and made sure he got on the bus and my in-laws met him at the bus station in the Cape, but still, it was a big step for us all. Even though I was sure he was fine, I was very relieved when my in-laws called to say he had arrived safe and sound.

I remember taking plane rides alone when I was younger. This was back when you didn’t need to have a ticket in order to go to the departure/arrival gates. My parents would take me to the gate and make sure I got on the right plane. A stewardess would keep an eye on me during the flight, giving me a deck of cards to play with or a special pin or sticker. When I arrived, I would wait until the stewardess was ready to escort me off the plane and into the waiting arms of my grandparents. On the one hand, it was similar to Bryce’s bus ride. On the other hand, it was hard enough for me to let Bryce go on the bus alone; I can’t imagine putting him on an airplane at this age!

Still and all, there comes a point in every parent’s life when you have to decide that it’s OK to let your child have adventures on his or her own. School is a big step in this process. At school, Bryce does so many things that I’ll never know about, no matter how much insight he gives me into his days. From the moment he gets on the bus to the moment he returns home, he has to negotiate social situations, academic tests, trips to the bathroom, decisions about what to eat for lunch, and more. Every situation gives him a chance to learn and become increasingly independent.



Bryce talks about his day at school - he saw children...hmmm...how specific...

In a few weeks Bryce will take this process even further as he goes to overnight camp. It’s a bit scary to think of him on his own, especially when it comes to the ADD. Granted, he will have counselors monitoring him and the camp has a system to make sure he takes his meds. Still and all, when the meds have worn off, it’s hard for him to remember to even do routine things like brushing his teeth.

That said, yesterday I was at a meeting about the overnight camp and I was relieved to hear the lady who runs the camp discussing the fact that remembering proper hygiene is often an issue with boys this age (and even older boys). The kids get hygiene checklists and counselors are told to double check that all kids remember to change their shirts or put on clean undies and such. Guess Bryce isn’t the only child who sometimes forgets to do these things!

I’ve been comparing notes with my sister about how best to give kids enough independence to have adventures on their own. Her older children are around Bryce’s age. She has an additional challenge, though, in that one of her children has epilepsy. Even though her daughter is on medication that seems to be keeping the seizures away, you can never be sure what will happen. The question then becomes, when is it OK to let her daughter do activities on her own? Will she be all right if she goes on a day trip? To an overnight party? To an overnight camp?

As a parent, it can be hard to know when you should continue to hold on tight and when you need to just close your eyes and let go. Yet everyone needs to learn to make their way through the world alone. Friends and family are crucial, but ultimately you make your own decisions and you have to learn to maneuver through all kinds of situations. Letting children make their own decisions (within limits, of course) will help them feel more confident in themselves and in their ability to handle the craziness that life throws their way.

On the one hand, I wish I could protect my children from everything and keep them by my side forever. On the other hand, that wouldn’t be healthy for either them or me. Still, it didn’t stop me from crying after I put Bryce on the bus for his first day of kindergarten. I’m sure it won’t stop me from crying after I drop him off at camp this summer. And I’m positive that I will be the same way for the girls when I do these things with them.

My advice for this post is to try to find the happy medium in terms of your children’s independence. Without a doubt, you need to set rules, limits, and boundaries in order to keep your life and your children from going crazy. At the same time, you have to be able to let go, bit by bit, and let your children learn to be autonomous people.

It’s challenging to know where to draw the line. At some point, however, you have to trust that your kids are amazing children with their own ideas, opinions, and lives. They will be able to handle themselves just fine without you hovering over them every second of the day.

I’m going to do my best to enjoy this short-lived time with Zivah while she is nearly completely dependent on me, while at the same time appreciating Maggie and Bryce’s ever-growing independence. I will also relish the times when Bryce and Maggie come running back into my arms, telling me how much they love me.

My children can be as independent as they need to be, as long as we still trust each other and love one another. I will always think of them as my little babies, but I will also work hard to help them grow into strong, intelligent, independent individuals.

Happy birthday to me and my blog

I can’t believe I started this blog a year ago! It really doesn’t seem like I’ve been writing it for that long. I guess that may have something to do with the fact that I’ve been so busy with the pregnancy and the kids and so forth. Still, a year really does go by quickly.

Never does that fact strike me so strongly as when my birthday comes around. I sometimes get confused when I realize how old I am. I just turned 37? Really? Could that many years have passed since I was born? And did I actually just admit the world how old I am?

Birthday cake courtesy of Sarah Chessman

OK, so in reality 37 isn’t all that old. Even assuming I live only an average lifespan, I’ve still only nearly reached the halfway point. Even so, it’s amazing how much my life has changed over time.

When you are little, you imagine what life will be like when you grow up. Most children have fantasies about what job they will take on or what their family will be like. I have to say, never in my “make pretends” did I envision myself getting divorced or writing marketing materials for high tech companies – yet I seem to have done both.

I have always wanted to make a living off of my writing, so at least one of my childhood fantasies has been fulfilled (though I thought I would be writing young adult novels). I haven’t yet become a rock star, though. Got to work on that one. At least my kids like it when I play guitar and sing for them. It’s a start.

Even though my life has not gone down the path I imagined for myself as a child (please note that I am neither a princess nor a fairy), I am still very satisfied with its current position. I love my children, my husband, and my extended family.

I enjoy working from home and being my own boss. I like the community in which I live and I am working on making closer connections with some of the people who live in this area (thanks for meeting me for “tea time” today, Kim). And spring is here, bringing with it my favorite flowers (lilacs), so really, how can anything be all that bad?

In addition to enjoying where I am right now, though, I also consider my birthday a good point at which to evaluate where I would like to go in the future.

Over the next year, I hope to build up my marketing client list a bit. Not too much – I don’t want to miss out on enjoying being a close part of my children’s lives. However, it would be good to have a few more steady clients. If any of you readers or your friends have marketing needs, give me a shout at holly at hollychessmarketing dot com (and check out my website: http://www.hollychessmanmarketing.com/).

I would also like to finish losing my pregnancy weight. I’m well on my way and beyond the half-way point. I still have a bit to go, though, and while the scale still indicates I’m moving in the right direction, the numbers are going down more slowly at this point. So it would be good to add more veggies to my diet and more exercise to my life. After Zivah starts sleeping through the night on a regular basis, I plan on developing a morning exercise regimen (Denise Austin DVDs, here I come!).

One more goal I’d like to accomplish over the next year: I want to write a book. I’ve been brainstorming about where I want to go with this one and I have a number of thoughts. I may take a screenplay I wrote in college and turn it into a novel. I may write a collection of retold fairy tales. I also might take this blog and turn it into…well, I’m not sure yet.

So here’s where I’m asking for a birthday present from you, my readers. Think of it as your advice-giver asking you for advice for a change (yes, I know you think I know everything, but I do ask for advice every now and then). What do you think I should do with these little essays?

I have considered writing mysteries that are solved by a stay-at-home mom who is looking for an extracurricular way to entertain herself. I’ve also considered just turning this into an “essays about family” type of book. Or maybe a pregnancy and childcare advice/humor book, where the entries are rewritten to include more solid advice than I currently provide in my entries (like information from doctors and psychologists and so forth in addition to my own musings).

Thoughts?

Eruption interruption

I was supposed to go to Holland this weekend. I was going to meet up with Josh, who is there on a business trip.

Then this dang Icelandic volcano erupted, spewing ash into the atmosphere, and all flights to Europe were cancelled. The airline did say they could get me on a new flight on Sunday, but since I was supposed to be coming home Monday, that doesn’t help me much. It’s not even like I can adjust my return flight, since Josh will be leaving Monday to run a training course elsewhere.

Now I will grant that I am glad that the airlines are placing people's safety higher than making a profit. I would much rather spend my time safely at home than risk my life traveling through a cloud of ash. Still, I am extremely disappointed to be missing out on this much-anticipated trip.

I haven’t been to Europe in many years, and the last time I was there wasn’t precisely a relaxing visit (no need to go into details – suffice to say that saying goodbye to someone before they die is never exactly fun). Not to mention the fact that I really wanted to see Josh, who has already been away for nearly a week. It's tough spending so much time away from him, especially as last month he was also away for a long time.

I was so excited about the trip that I even packed for it a few days ago. I carefully picked out the clothes that Zivah and I were going to wear. Zivah was the only child who was accompanying me on this trip. She got to go because otherwise she wasn’t going to eat for four days and that didn’t seem like a good plan.

It would have been so nice to get away for a long weekend. This is a great time of year to go to Holland. The flowers are in bloom and the weather is decent. Josh and I had already planned out a list of activities for the weekend. It was going to be a blast. Then something else decided to blast: the volcano.

It sounds like a line from a cheesy comedy. “I was just about to leave for the airport when I heard that my flight was cancelled because a volcano erupted!” Come on, that would never happen – would it?

I guess it will make a good story in the years to come. In the meantime, however, I mostly feel let down. Dealing with an abrupt change in plans is never easy, especially when you are exchanging a fantastic adventure for your day-to-day life. Not that my life is so bad. It just would have been nice to shake the regular routine for a bit.

As I struggle to accept the inevitable, I am reminded of some of the things I tell my children. When Brycie doesn’t want to do his homework or to practice, I tell him that he needs to stop complaining and accept that sometimes you just don’t have a choice about doing something you are not feeling enthusiastic about. You have to push through it and remind yourself that it is something that has to be done. Not to mention the fact that what you are doing is far from the worst thing you will experience in your life, so come to terms with it and move on.

When Maggie has to do something she doesn’t want to, I try to distract her by providing something positive and fun to think about. For example, if I am trying to put her hair in a ponytail, I might talk to her about the images on her clothes or sing her a song. Then she almost doesn’t notice that she’s accepting the thing against which she was previously struggling.

I don’t know if that strategy will work with me. It’s a little different when you’re trying to distract yourself without anyone else to help you out. Maybe I can watch a TV show to take my mind off of the situation for a while.

I know it’s normal to feel sad when something like this happens. It can take a bit of time to accept the inevitable. I don’t feel like I have the option to cry or have a tantrum, like one of the children might. Writing about it has actually made me feel a bit better. And it’s nice to know that I have the sympathy of my friends and family as well, who have been coming by, calling, and writing to me.

My advice for the day is this: recognize that there’s nothing wrong with feeling disappointment. There will be times in everyone’s lives when things don’t work out exactly as planned. Heck, I can think of lots of times that has happened to me. Sometimes such unexpected changes lead you down a better path; sometimes not. Either way, it’s OK to mourn for a bit about the loss of something good.

After you have had your moment of self-pity, however, move on. There are so many great things in life. Why focus on the negative?

It is good not to be taking an eight-hour flight with a three-month-old. I will be cozy sleeping in my own bed tonight. It will be lovely to see the faces of my wonderful children in the morning. Spending this time away from Josh will make me treasure his time at home even more. Most importantly, I'd rather know that I am safe than risk my life just to have a short vacation.

Still, it would have been nice to go to to Holland.

Great grandparents

I am a very lucky person: I knew all four of my grandparents. I saw them often and they played an important part in my life.

My mother’s parents have a house in Ogunquit, ME, that my family visited often throughout the years. I have many memories of going there and eating Grandma’s CCCs (that’s “chocolate chip cookies,” oh ye uninitiated), getting business lessons from Grandpa, and having fun at the beach with the both of them.

All four grandparents and my family and more in Ogunquit
(I'm the baby on the lap of the lady wearing the
black-rimmed glasses - aka, Mom)

I also have great memories of my father’s parents, who lived in Portland, OR. Despite the long flight to the other side of the country, we saw them a few times a year and talked with them often. I recall swimming in the pool with Grandma, doing math problems with Grandpa, and having Happy Hour with them both in the afternoon.

Grandma Singer and me

Some things I remember about my grandparents are completely random. I remember Grandma Singer’s soft hands. I remember Grandpa Singer’s long legs that seemed to stretch out forever. I remember Grandma McCrensky’s beautiful smile that always made me feel like I was important. Sometimes smells take me back too, like the scent of beef barley soup reminds me of dinner with the McCrenskys or the clean clothes smell in a store reminds me of shopping with Grandma Singer.

Grandma McCrensky with three of my sibs and me
(I'm the one on the far left)

My grandparents showed me that getting older doesn’t have to mean that you stop living your life. Instead, it opens up new opportunities to learn and grow. And of course, if you are blessed with grandchildren, it gives you the chance to bond with them and pass on some of the things that you have learned throughout life, the most important of which is to love your family and strengthen your ties with them.

Even now that three out of my four grandparents have died, I often dream about them. I dream that they are giving me advice or hugs or that they are protecting me. Are they really sending me a message from the beyond? Who knows? But I always feel safe and loved when I wake up from those dreams. I love all of my grandparents and feel extremely fortunate that they were and are a part of my life.

Grandma Paula and Grandma Linda holding Zivah

It makes me extraordinarily happy to see that my own children’s grandparents are such active participants in their lives. Maggie loves to sing her own version of “The Wheels on the Bus,” where each family member gets a verse. The grandparents are usually the first to enter the bus and she says their names with such incredible enthusiasm. We are all excited when they come to visit our house and happy that they visit often.

Grandma Paula photographs the kids, makes them her famous mac and cheese (and don’t forget the broccoli on the side), and plays “run and hug” with them. Grandpa Karl teaches them new math concepts, finds them interesting websites to explore, and patiently reads them book after book.

Grandpa Karl and Grandma Paula

Grandma Linda knits special outfits for the kids, takes them to the park, and provides them with sensible advice. Zadie (aka Grandpa Dan) builds them beautiful things made of wood, bakes the most incredible challah I’ve ever eaten, and takes them to the science museum.

Zadie and Bryce

The children are even lucky enough to know their great-grandmother, Bubbie, who tells me every time I see her that they are the most adorable, sweet, smart, fabulous children (and it must be true if she says so).

Bubbie and me

I realize that not everyone has a close relationship with their parents and/or in-laws. I feel lucky in that respect; I adore all four of my parents and I love that they have a strong influence on my children. I think they are all great role models. They each have such unique and interesting things to teach my children and my children get so much from every visit.

I don’t really have any advice for this entry, except maybe to think of your grandparents as Mother’s Day and Father’s Day approach. I guess this time around I’ve written more of a “thank you” note than an advice piece.

Thank you, Grandma Mary, Grandpa Harold, Grandma Anne, and Grandpa David. Thank you Grandma Paula, Grandpa Karl, Grandma Linda, Zadie, and Bubbie. Thank you all for being so wonderful to me and my family. Thank you for being a close part of our lives. We all love and appreciate you so very much. I hope you always know that.

Eating it up

Hi, my name is Holly, and I’m a foodaholic. And thank goodness Passover is finally over so I can once again munch on my favorite edibles (sorry matzah, you just don’t cut it).

Yes, I fully admit it – I love food. This is somewhat of a danger because it is very easy for me to overindulge (especially in desserts – yum!). I have, however, learned to control many of my less-than-positive eating habits. This is not to say that I never treat myself to decadent food (hello Pad Thai from Bedford’s Asiana Bistro or the Cheesecake Factory’s “Adam’s Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Ripple”). In general, however, I’m a fairly healthy eater.

It took me several years and a real weight loss effort to realize that I could be a healthy eater and still enjoy my food. I like to snack, only now I focus my snacks on things like Newman’s Own Organic Pretzels with protein (22 pretzels have 120 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 4 grams of fiber, and 5 grams of protein – not bad for a snack food!).

Popchips are another great option. They aren’t as exciting nutritionally, but not bad for a chip. They come in a variety of flavors, but my favorite is the Original flavor. I still sometimes enjoy Baked! Ruffles (Cheddar and Sour Cream is the best, but perhaps not the healthiest), but let’s face it – they don’t taste like real potato chips should.

For a more protein-oriented snack, Trader Joe’s Natural Turkey Jerky is delicious. I often eat half a bag in one sitting and it’s only the fact that I share it with Josh that keeps me from gobbling (excuse the pun) the whole bag. But even at half a bag, it’s only 120 calories, no fat, and 22 grams of protein. With no preservatives, nitrates, or MSG and a list of ingredients I can actually recognize and pronounce, I have no issues with this yummy treat.

For items that make a meal work, there are a few essentials I always keep on hand. I love bread, but that’s one of those things with which you can’t overindulge or you’re in trouble. Arnold’s Sandwich Thins are fabulous for filling my bread need. They taste yummy and actually hold the sandwich fillings in. We buy a whole bunch at a time and freeze them until we need them. As of late, other brands of delicious sandwich thins have been showing up, but Arnold’s was the first.
                  

Thomas’ Light Multigrain English Muffins are pretty tasty too. At 100 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 8 grams of fiber, and 6 grams of protein, they’re pretty healthy too. I like to make them into mini pizzas, with some tomato sauce and fat free mozzarella. Makes a great lunch!

Of course, there are plenty of non-name brand items that are essential for a good meal. Aside from boneless/skinless chicken and turkey breasts, fish of all kinds, and lean beef (I’m a big fan of the fillet mignon, myself), there are the more unusual ones like buffalo. It’s tasty and it makes a mean burger – and it’s less fatty than beef. How can you lose?

If you are going vegetarian – or even just trying to cut down on meat – veggie grounds are a great meat substitute in things like shepherd’s pie, spaghetti sauce, taco salad, and more. I believe veggie grounds work well because browned ground meat really doesn’t have much flavor on its own. It’s the spices you add that make it yummy. The veggie stuff has the right texture and once you add the correct spices, you can hardly tell the difference between it and regular hamburger – except in the fat and fiber stats, which are excellent. My favorite brand is LightLife - I like their Smart Ground original and Mexican flavors.

I have also recently discovered a company called Gardein. They make a whole bunch of interesting ready-made vegetarian dishes. Santa Fe Good Stuff is a stuffed “chicken” breast with beans and corn – it’s quite delicious. The Marinara Chick’n Good Stuff is also good – a breaded “chicken” breast stuffed with tomato sauce and vegan cheese. OK, the thought of vegan cheese freaked me out at first, but in this particular situation, it’s actually tasty. Gardein has food in the refrigerated section and the freezer section. I’m looking forward to trying out more of their stuff (Thai Trio looks particularly yummy).

As for fruits and veggies, as everyone says, the more the merrier. I’m often not in the mood for salad, so I have to be more creative about my veggie additions. It’s not really a problem, though. Call me odd, but I actually find it fun to discover new ways to add fruits and veggies into my diet. It’s entertaining to try out new tastes (ever tried an Asian pear? they’re wonderful; or give broccoli sprouts a chance) and to add them to everything from sandwiches to pizzas to frozen meals. I’ve been trying to eat three servings of fruits of veggies at lunch and three at dinner. Not that I always succeed, but it’s a noble goal!

I’ve discovered that dairy items are also not as difficult to manage as I had previously imagined. Fat free cheeses have come a long way over the past few years. They now melt decently and the flavor is pretty good, too. This is not to say that I never indulge in full-fat cheese (brie…mmmm…), but most of the time I’m fine with the fat free stuff. I tend to go for Kraft, since it’s the easiest to find in the grocery store, but I have tried other kinds that seem equally good.

Should fat-free cheese sound like it is not for you, there are plenty of other ways to get your dairy in. My favorite is fat-free Greek yogurt. Trader Joe’s has the best plain one I’ve tasted. It’s got a lot of protein (yes, I’m on somewhat of a protein kick as of late) and it’s thick and creamy. I also use the plain yogurt as a substitute for sour cream. It works better than regular yogurt as a substitute because it’s thicker.

If you are looking for a flavored version, I love Stonyfield Farm’s 0% fat Oikos in honey, strawberry, caramel, and chocolate. They all taste like luscious desserts to me.

While we are on that subject, let me just say that finding healthy desserts can be quite challenging. It’s hard for me to get through a day without at least one sweet item. There are a few staples, though, that have been helping me handle my cravings without getting me into too much trouble.

For one, if you’ve never tried a Deep Chocolate Vita Top, grab one NOW. They are so yummy! It’s like eating chocolate cake with chocolate chips, only it’s just 100 calories with decent fiber and fat stats. Not to mention the fact that they’re made with whole grains. Pretty good for a dessert treat. The other chocolate options are pretty tasty too, as are the corn muffins. I’m not such a fan of the various bran ones, but I don’t really love bran muffins in general so that might bias me against them. They are meant to be frozen and then defrosted when you’re ready to eat them, so you can easily stock up as necessary.

Not nearly as “natural” or healthy, yet still low in calories/fat are Jello sugar-free pudding and sugar-free mousse options. The mousses are light, fluffy, and decadent. The pre-portioned cups of regular pudding are great too (especially the dark chocolate), though I often make a box of instant pudding and share (chocolate fudge...mmm...). The instant pudding is fun for adding to other things (like pies) or changing the flavor (like adding canned pumpkin and pumpkin pie spice to the vanilla pudding to make a really tasty treat). You can even use the instant pudding to make nice, thick shakes (just ask Hungry Girl, who is always providing recipes for things like that).

There’s no way I could talk about desserts and not touch on the subject of ice cream. It’s always difficult to find ice cream that tastes good and is still low in fat. Edy’s Slowchurned does a pretty good job, though. There are light, no sugar added, and yogurt options, and they have also recently come out with pre-portioned cups (though there’s more in a cup than I usually serve myself out of a tub). The thing I like best about the Edy’s Slowchurned options is that there are, well, options. Many low fat ice creams I see in the grocery store have chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry, but not much else. Edy’s is constantly coming out with new flavors and they are usually delicious. Plus, their ice cream has chunks of yummy things like cookies or chips that give the ice cream a more satisfying feel. I am baffled as to why other companies don’t follow suit.

My advice for this post is to eat, eat, eat! But don’t ingest any old food. Think about your food choices. There are so many delicious yet healthy foods out there. You just have to be a bit daring and allow yourself to try different things. You may find that you actually enjoy the challenge. I do!

I’m extra obsessed with my food options these days, since I am trying to lose the second half of my pregnancy poundage. As I look at my pre-pregnancy pants with a sigh of nostalgia, I remind myself that losing the weight and getting healthier are the goals, not making myself feel deprived.

Go ahead and try something I listed in this post or pass me suggestions for healthy yet yummy options. As you see my pounds drop off and my foodie face shine with joy, you’ll know that I’m still munching away – and loving it!

The writing on the wall

Sometimes I’m surprised and impressed about the fact that I actually know what I'm doing when it comes to writing. Yeah, so that sounds a bit self-aggrandizing. However, if I can’t appreciate my own talents, who can?

All right, so really this thought came about because several people have recently complimented me about my writing skills. It’s very gratifying, not only because everyone likes to be complimented, but also because I try really hard to give my clients the best work possible. It’s nice to know that they appreciate what I do for them and that they feel it enhances their ability to sell their solutions – which is, after all, the point of writing marketing materials.

Of course, it’s also very nice that they help me promote my business, Holly Chessman Marketing. I really enjoy having the chance to display my writing skills through my business. Being my own boss means I can choose to do only that work which I love and skip the busy work that jobs often bring with them.

Photo courtesy of http://www.sxc.hu/

I really love writing, whether it’s putting together a blog post or writing a data sheet or composing a song. There’s something so amazing about finding the phrase that exactly fits the situation. I feel it in my bones when something does or doesn’t make sense. Sometimes it is almost an ache when I am having trouble finding the right words to describe something. In contrast, I feel triumphant joy coursing through me when the phrase is right.

Sound a little nutty? Well, I guess that insanity is part of what makes me a good writer. (Or so I tell myself.)

I have always been excited about writing. I still have some of the stories I wrote when I was in elementary school. They are not exactly Shakespeare, but they were clearly written with great enjoyment.

I also keep a journal and have since elementary school. I love looking back at my life as I have aged. Reading my past journal entries sometimes, I sometimes feel like I have a best friend who has been with me nearly forever, an invisible confidant who always understands what is going on in my head.

I’d like to think that I am passing on this love of words to my children. I read to them constantly. Books are starting to take over our house, with bookshelves appearing in nearly every room.

Even Maggie knows some of the stories by heart, anticipating the words as I read her most beloved books like Eric Carle’s “The Very Hungry Caterpillar,” Stephen T. Johnson's “My Little Red Toolbox,” or Peggy Rathmann’s “Goodnight Gorilla” (which doesn’t have very many words, but Maggie knows them all!). Bryce loves to read to himself, anything from magazines to books to cereal boxes. Zivah doesn’t appreciate books too much yet, but I’m sure she will.

Reading encourages my children to grow their vocabulary as well as their thoughts. I love to see the children play-acting, making up little stories about who they are and what they are doing. I’m all for expanding the imagination!

Bryce writes lovely poetry and as he gets better at the physical act of writing, he is also having fun creating fiction. He even recently wrote an interesting, long report recently about piping plovers. One of the things he enjoyed most was taking the words he found on various websites and readjusting the sentences so that they held his own voice.

That’s one of the best things about the written word: you can take a part of what’s deep inside of you and bring it out into the open. For some people, that can be quite scary, especially when it comes to taking criticism from others. It almost feels like critics are saying things about you, yourself.

It is important when writing to realize that critics are just talking about the words you wrote down, not your soul. Beyond that, everyone has opinions and just because someone thinks something about what you wrote, it doesn’t necessarily make it “right” or “wrong.” With writing, those kind of definitions can be mutable.

Being able to rationally handle criticism is especially important when it comes to writing for pay. If I am writing a brochure, for example, I have to realize that I am not the only one whose opinion matters (unless it is a brochure for my own business, that is). The company for whom I am working has a product or service to support and I am likely not the sole person in charge of the messaging created to support what is being sold.

I have learned, over time, to pick and choose my battles. If a suggested change is grammatically wrong, I don’t accept it. If it doesn’t make sense, I talk to the person who suggested the change and try to figure out what he or she was trying to say. Sometimes, I just bite down and realize that my clients want to do what they want to do and whether or not it’s the way I would phrase it, the piece is theirs. As long as I have explained why I would do it my way, they have the final say.

In that way, writing achieves a dual purpose: it allows me to reach within myself and pull out something amazing, but it also allows me to step back and take a look at the bigger picture. Didn’t I tell you that writing is pretty incredible?

So hurray for the written word! Take my advice and write as much and as often as you can! You will get better and better at it as time goes on. Don’t worry about criticism; often it is quite helpful. Whether it betters your writing or not, it can provide you with interesting insights.

At the same time, if writing is not your forte, don’t be afraid to call on a professional. Holly Chessman Marketing is always there, at your beck and call!

As it is written, so it shall be done.